Morty
This website was developed in honor of John Mortimer Garcia aka "EL MORTY" born December 26, 2021. Morty has had an above average life so far and the images below will give you a glimpse of what Morty calls his reality.
An Infamous Beginning
Morty's first viral picture that put him in the spotlight was a horrific scene of a once famous pop star that shall remain nameless (hee hee) trying to show him to the world. While his intentions were good, tragedy nearly struck! His butter fingers resembled those of one of Mortys uncles, commonly known as "Sweaty Palms Garcia".
What was a normal day nearly turned into a horrific day. Morty nearly slipped out of this popstars hands! As he dangled from a skyrise, Morty showed his true self and showed no emotions. While being 11 stories in the air and being held by only one sweaty hand, Morty sent a message to the entire world.... fear does not exist .....
The Young Sports Prodigy
The Young Sports Prodigy
Morty has always had a love for baseball and was always out way passed the streetlights turning on. Here he is seen above with his childhood friends playing baseball in the abandoned sandlot of the most dangerous neighborhoods of Downey!
Baseball wasn't all Morty enjoyed but after being banned from all Sunday leagues for fighting, Coach Carter told him he should just fight since he loved fighting so much.
Coach Carter intended his fighting remark as a joke but Morty took it serious and started professionally fighting. His most notable fight was against the undefeated Hasbulla Magomedov (33-1). After a Morty gave Hasbulla his first loss, Morty was on the fast track to become the next superstar.
Morty at Canelos first match - World Boxing Council
"You Miss 100% Of The Shots You Don't Take. - Wayne Gretzky"
-Michael Scott - John "Morty" Garcia
The Ladies Man
Selena, Anna, and Taylor just to name a few.
Mortys Homies
All Work and No Play
Morty broke multiple records with his career. He became the youngest CEO of the largest paper company in his first week of work! He propelled this company with a propriety formula of that launched his company to the top of the Fortune 500!
Morty The Philantropist
Single Handedly Ended the Ukraine Invasion
Fought for Equality
Founded Theory of General Relativity
Had a Dream he Told MLK About
Cured Cancer
Pulitzer Prize - 2022
Nobel Prize - 2022
The Booker Prize - 2022
John Newbey Medal - 2022
Break Through Prize - 2022
Dundee Award - 2022
Fields Medal - 2022
Abel Prize - 2022
Carnegie Medal - 2022
Purple Heart - 2022
Pioneered the Practices of Satyagraha
" LIFE IS REALLY SIMPLE, BUT WE INSIST ON MAKING IT COMPLICATED." - Morty
"THE GREATEST GLORY IN LIVING LIES NOT IN NEVER FALLING, BUT IN RISING EVERY TIME WE FALL" - Morty
"THE BEST WAY TO FIND OUT IF YOU CAN TRUST SOMEBODY IS TO TRUST THEM." -Morty
"I'M NOT SUPERSTITIOUS BUT I AM A LITTLE STITIOUS." - Morty
" EL QUE NO ARRIESGA NO GANA." - Morty
"I GOT LAZY AT THE END OF THIS AND I HAVE EXTRA PICTURES I PHOTOSHOPPED SO CHECK THEM OUT ON THE BOTTOM OF THIS SITE." - Not Morty
"IF YOU'RE READING THIS BRING ME A COFFEE OR A SUGAR FREE VODKA REDBULL"
- Not Morty
"I AM GOING TO ADD THESE JUST TO SEE IF ANYONE READS THEM ALL, IF YOU DID YOU HAVE TOO MUCH FREE TIME ON YOUR HANDS, GET A LIFE DO SOMETHING PRODUCTIVE, GO FOR A HIKE, LEARN TO DAYTRADE" - Not Morty
" ME ENTEINDES MENDEZ, O TE EXPLICO FEDERICO." - MORTY
"CALLATE Y PONTE A TRABAJAR." - Morty
"HAKUNA MATATA" - Morty
"MAS VALE PAJARO EN MANO QUE CIEN VOLANDO." - Morty
"A LIFE SPENT MAKING MISTAKES IS NOT ONLY MORE HONORABLE, BUT MORE USEFUL THAN A LIFE SPENT DOING NOTHING." - Morty
ALWAYS GIVE WITHOUT REMEMBERING AND ALWAYS RECEIVE WITHOUT FORGETTING." - Morty
"KEEP YOUR TITS UP" - Morty
"IF YOU SET YOUR GOALS RIDICULOUSLY HIGH AND IT'S A FAILURE, YOU WILL FAIL ABOVE EVERYONE ELSE'S SUCCESS" - Morty
"ALLIGATORS ARE ALWAYS ANGRY BECAUSE THEY GOT ALL THEM TEETH AND NO TOOTBRUSH" - Morty
"COMMON SENSE IS LIKE DEODORANT. THE PEOPLE WHO NEED IT MOST NEVER USE IT" - Morty
"NEVER FOLLOW ANYONES ELSE'S PATH, UNLESS YOU'RE IN THE WOODS AND YOU'RE LOST AND YOU SEE A PATH. THEN BY ALL MEANS FOLLOW THAT PATH" - Morty
"SEND IT" - Morty
"PONTE LAS PILAS" - Morty
FOLLOW MY FUTURE COMPANY:
FOLLOW MY MOM:
FOLLOW MY DAD:
Check out these pictures above for no reason.
If you are interested in changing anything on this page for laughs or promoting your business just compensate me for a space and time slot; I accept Zelle, Precious Metals, Venmo, Crypto, Collector Pieces, Hipster Beverages and/or Food.
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